Have you ever thought that maybe that gnawing feeling of discontentment, the one that’s keeping you up at night may very well be the greatest gift of all: your true self trying to wake you up to something even greater?
Think about a young child trying to get your attention—nudging or tugging at your shirtsleeve. The sooner you acknowledge and listen to her the sooner you both find the kind of relief and understanding that deepens your connection. Our dreams and desires are like small children, constantly trying to get our attention in different ways—through a whisper, an inkling, a knowing—without knowing how we know. And what we don’t realize is that our discontentment will grow the more we ignore our true self.
On the surface, our lives may appear to be running smoothly, while an undercurrent of restlessness is telling us otherwise. At least that was my experience a few years ago when it seemed like I had finally “made it”, except for one minor detail. I wasn’t truly happy and I couldn’t understand why. However, hindsight is 20/20, right? So I ignored these feelings of discontentment by pushing them down and telling myself that I needed to be more grateful, and eventually my world as I knew it totally fell apart. That’s when I finally saw the brilliance in my unhappiness, and that it had nothing to do with being ungrateful or selfish—I simply wasn’t aligned with my best, and my true self was calling me forward through my discontent.
Remember, things in life aren’t happening to us, they’re happening for us. I believe that each of us is trying our best as we continue to grow into the next version of who we are, and when we know better, we do better. And that’s where the opportunity lies for us—in knowing better.
I’ve learned that the beautiful thing about pain or discomfort, is that it forces us to change. Think about it. Would you change anything in your life if you were always comfortable? Of course not. As humans beings we’re hardwired to avoid change and more often than not we fear the unknown. We plan because we want to know what lies ahead, but could those very plans—that sense of security, be the very thing that’s holding us back from becoming all that we’re meant to be?
So here’s an invitation to see your discontentment as a gift, accepting it for what it is—a signal that’s trying to tell you something for your greater good. The hard part is taking the time needed to sit with your discontent so you can listen to it, because most of us prioritize our to-do-list over our to-be-list—and this is where I see the biggest struggles in my clients.
That’s why I use an Indianapolis 500 analogy. In the Indy 500, you’ve got the fastest cars in the world racing to win the championship. Yet each car at some point during the race has to pull over and come to a complete stop. Without stopping, the car will not maintain its optimal level, much less have a real chance at winning the race.
You too are a high-end machine that has the potential for winning the race of your choice. And pulling over to check in—on your tire pressure, that blinking red light, or your fuel level—will give you the chance to do something about it, so you can get back out there and race the way you’re suppose to race.
Here’s how you can pull over: Make a date with yourself. No friends, spouses, kids, or pets, so you can invest the time needed to listen to your own wisdom, the part of you that wants your very best. Grab a cup of coffee or tea, turn off your phone and then journal—pour out all your thoughts, frustrations, and ideas onto the paper so that you can make sense of it. You can’t clearly identify the voice of the discontent if it’s all in your head.
Or if you prefer, sit down with someone you trust, someone you can be vulnerable with, who will just listen. Or go for a walk in the woods, be in nature, get your heart rate up and even talk aloud, so you can hear yourself say the things that you need to say and hear. Ask yourself quality questions, because when you do, you’ll get quality answers.
When we give ourselves this kind of permission and honor all of who we are—even the discontentment—something amazing starts to happen. We step into the time and space needed to just be in the moment, which allows us to try on new ideas without judgment. Ideas that may not make sense at first, but when we sit with them long enough they reveal a wisdom that’s undeniable. Ideas that help us live life more fully and deliberately. Ideas that help us align with who we really are.
By staying open and listening to our discontent, it can lead us forward, revealing a path that we didn’t notice before. When we’re clear about what we don’t want (discontent), we’re able to start seeing what it is that we really DO want (dreams/desires). And the trick after that is to believe that we can actually have it.
What’s your discontentment telling you? Please join me on Facebook OR if you live in the Cincinnati area, join my November Workshop—Create The Life You Want, on Saturday, November 4th from 1:00 to 3:00 pm at 1100 Sycamore St, 45202, 4th floor.
Sign up now or before October 31st and bring a friend for FREE at www.christinebunnell.com/events. Questions? 513-763-0969